Opinion: There goes my hero – why Dave Grohl’s cheating admission is so disappointing

We’re not mad, just disappointed. Photo / Astrida Valigorsky / Getty Images
THREE KEY FACTS
OPINION
Ah, Dave. We thought you were different.
Long hailed as the “Nicest Guy in Rock”, the drummer has admitted to brandishing his stick elsewhere – fathering a child outside of his 21-year marriage to Jordyn Blum, the mother of his three children.
The news has understandably devastated fans; a collective betrayal, one might call it. His infidelity, which he confessed to in a post to social media on Wednesday, has not only let down his wife, but betrayed every fan who believed in his shiny “Nice Guy™” image. Rock stars typically aren’t a very sympathetic bunch: many are known for their serial philandering, prolific womanising, and yes, in several cases, statutory rape. But not our guy Dave. His family man persona, ardent appreciation for his fans, and close relationship with his late mother are but a few factors that have turned the public in Grohl’s favour over the years and to many, this rocker could do no wrong.
But wrong he has done – a wrong that has clearly had a significant emotional impact on those closest to him. I’m not putting words in his mouth: Grohl himself said in his announcement, “I love my wife and my children, and I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness.” Shortly after issuing his statement, it was reported that his two oldest daughters, Violet, 18, and Harper, 15, have deleted their social media.
Finding out Dave grohl cheated on his wife and had a baby pic.twitter.com/MeesgWourV
And let’s not forget that Grohl isn’t a first-time offender, a fact younger fans might not be aware of, or has been conveniently swept under the carpet as it’s not congruent with his public persona. He and his first wife, Jennifer Youngblood, split in 1997 over his infidelity. According to Page Six, snowboarding pioneer Tina Basich claimed Grohl also cheated on her during their relationship.
Sure, everyone makes mistakes – but when someone makes the same slip-up for a third time (that we know about), it’s evident that person is not learning from said mistakes. And Grohl, as a 55-year-old father to now four daughters, should really know better.
Some sympathisers may argue that infidelity “comes with the territory” – “what happens on tour, stays on tour”, etc. My dad’s response to the scandal was, “I suppose it is difficult being a rock star”. Oh yes, all those beautiful women throwing themselves at you – what’s a man to do? Oh, poor Dave – how could he resist?
Simply put, quite easily. Cheating is an active choice – he did not accidentally slip, fall and father a child with a woman who isn’t his wife. He made a decision and followed through with it. To relegate his actions to simply “being a rock star” removes any sense of autonomy and accountability. Rock stars aren’t genetically predisposed to cheating, or any more biologically likely to cheat than the next person. They are just humans: humans with a brain that makes decisions, and humans with a brain that should know the difference between right and wrong. Being surrounded by beautiful women 24/7 isn’t an excuse, and doesn’t make cheating any less of a betrayal.
have never felt deeper parasocial betrayal than dave grohl cheating on his wife
What makes this bombshell a bitter pill to swallow is that since the dawn of time, women have been encouraged to give the proverbial “nice guy” a chance; bad boys will only break your heart, we’re told. But of course, no one is immune to infidelity – and at the end of the day, a nice guy is still just a guy. We might hold them to higher standards, but a person on a pedestal just has that much further to fall.
A post shared by Dave Grohl (@davestruestories)
Grohl’s statement, which has received mixed opinions online, also made sure to mention that he intends to raise his baby daughter as a “loving and supportive parent”. As chivalrous as this sounds, it really is the bare minimum we should expect from a father – and hopefully, he makes good on his promise.
me, a huge foo fighters & dave grohl fan, opening up instagram and seeing dave’s new post pic.twitter.com/VKmdTnq4jy
Writing this, I do wonder what the fallout of this scandal will look like. Much of it will depend on how the situation unfolds; if his family can forgive him, I’m sure his fans can, too. Although I doubt this will have any lasting impact on his career, I also think public perception will never quite be the same. Sure, many of Grohl’s fans won’t particularly care about indiscretions in his personal life, but for those of us who did put stock in his public persona, he’ll never be as nice as we once believed him to be. It’s a stain on his reputation; it will eventually fade, but it won’t ever be completely erased. From today on, Grohl will always be the Nicest Guy in Rock – who cheated on his wife.
Lana Andelane is an Auckland-based multimedia journalist covering lifestyle and entertainment stories. She joined the Herald in 2024 and enjoys anything related to pop culture, fashion, beauty or music.